| Horrible Histories December 2012 |
| Copyright (C) BBC |
WELCOME TO THE CHRISTMAS ISSUE OF HORRIBLE HISTORIES MAGAZINE
NASTY NEWS - CROMWELL CANCELS CHRISTMAS!
FOUL FACTS - CRUEL CHRISTMAS - FESTIVE FOOD FACTS!
GRISLY GIFTS - SMASHING STOCKING FILLERS!
RATTUS RECKONS - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!
GRUESOME GAME - CHRISTMAS BORED GAME
CHRISTMAS BORED GAME - ANSWERS
Section Index
WELCOME TO THE CHRISTMAS ISSUE OF HORRIBLE HISTORIES MAGAZINE
It's stuffed like a turkey with foul festive facts and fun. Plus, use 3D glasses to make some pages really horrible!
In 1969, the Pope declared that Saint Nicholas actually wasn't such a super saint. Too late, pal - Santa was already a global hero by then!
6 January is the Twelfth Night of Christmas - if you keep your decorations upafter this it's supposed to be bad luck!
In the early 1800s, some turkeys had to walk 100 miles just to get to market to be sold and roasted for your dinner.
The name Santa Claus comes from Saint Nicholas, a saint who helped a poor family by throwing gold through their window.
NASTY NEWS - CROMWELL CANCELS CHRISTMAS!
OLIVER CROMWELL, WHO BECAME LORD PROTECTOR OF ENGLAND AFTER HE HAD KING CHARLES I'S HEAD CUT OFF, BANS CHRISTMAS IN 1647. CROMWELL'S PURITAN PARLIAMENT IS A MIGHTILY MISERABLE BUNCH!
Christmas puddings are banned by the Puritans - people aren't allowed to make them and have to order them in from Europe. That certainly pud everyone in a bad mood!
Christmas decorations are torn down and burned by the Mayor of London. You could say he was a night-mayor!
Shopkeepers have a tough time. Cromwell’s troops order them to open, but locals force them to close and have a holiday if they do!
Christmas church services are broken up by armed soldiers and there are riots across the country.
In 1660, two years after Cromwell's death, Christmas is officially back in Britain. Party time, people!
Cromwell makes everyone work on Christmas day - imagine having to go to school at Christmas. Urgh!
DEADLY FACT
Cromwell died in 1658. Two years later, Charles II had his body dug up, cut up and thrown in the River Thames - and his rotten head stuck on a pole at Westminster Hall for 25 years.
FOUL FACTS - CRUEL CHRISTMAS - FESTIVE FOOD FACTS!
For Christmas dinner Queen Victoria would eat a special pie, which had a woodcock... stuffed inside a pheasant... stuffed inside a chicken... stuffed inside a turkey!
In Tudor times, Christmas-pudding was a mix of meats, oatmeal and spices, all boiled together in the guts of a pig. No wonder Henry VIII looked like a giant pudding, is it?
An old superstition says you can make a wish when you take your first bite of your first mince pie each Christmas. You could wish that you don't have to eat any sprouts!
Turkeys have been on Earth for nine million years. That doesn't mean that your mum's turkey you have for Christmas dinner is nine million years old - although it might taste like it is!
Brussels sprouts react with bacteria in the stomach to produce hydrogen sulphide - the same gas used in stink bombs! You'll know this already if you've sat next to a smelly uncle who's eaten a whole plate...
Boar's head was a delicacy in the 1600s. If you offered it to the goddess of farming it was said to bring a good harvest.
This merry monarch brought back Christmas after Cromwell banned it!
The Green Knight challenged Sir Gawain at Christmas. Even though Gawain cut the knight's head off, he just put it back on again!
What is a Medieval warrior's favourite carol?
SILENT KNIGHT
Why is a Christmas tree like a bad tailor?
BECAUSE THEY BOTH KEEP DROPPING THEIR NEEDLES!
What's Dick Turpin's favourite Christmas creature?
ROBIN!
Why did Scrooge buy his relatives birds for Christmas?
I HEARD THEY WERE GOING CHEEP
What do reindeer hang on their antlers?
HORN-AMENTS
What do you get if you swallow Christmas decorations?
TINSEL-ITIS!
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
THE TURKEY - HE'S ALWAYS STUFFED!
SANTA JOKES!
Why does Santa go down chimneys?
BECAUSE IT SOOTS HIM!
What happened when Father Christmas gave presents to polar bears?
HE WAS SANTA CLAWED!
What does Santa teach his workers?
THE ELF-ABET!
How does Santa find his way to all the houses on Christmas Eve?
HE USES HIS SANTA-NAV!
SEND US YOUR VILE JOKES
EMAIL OR POST YOUR JOKES TO US - THE BEST ONES WILL GET IN THE MAGAZINE!
shout@hhmag.co.uk
Horrible Histories, Vineyard House, 44 Brook Green, London W6 7BT
ENTER BY EMAIL: Email your answer, name, address and telephone number to the under each competition.
ENTER BY TEXT: Text COMP HH + win code + either A or B (without any spaces) and your name and full address to 66644. For example, text COMP HH5343A John Smith, 25 The Avenue, London, NW12 6XP. Entry cost will be however much your mobile phone company charges for one normal text message (SMS) at the time you enter.
TECHNIC SUPERCAR
Build and race your own motorised supercar with this awesome LEGO kit! For a chance to win one of five fantastic LEGO TECHNIC supercars, just answer this question:
WHEN WERE THE FIRST CHRISTMAS LIGHTS USED ON A TREE IN AMERICA?
A. Last Thursday
B. Around 1880
Win code: 5509
Email: 5509@hhcomp.co.uk
LEGO and the LEGO logo are trademarks of the LEGO Group. Copyright 2012 The LEGO Group. Technic.LEGO.co.uk
POWER RANGERS AND XBOX
The Power Rangers battle dark and mysterious foes in Power Rangers Samurai: The Team Unites. One winner gets an Xbox and a copy of Power Rangers Samurai. Nine runners-up get a copy of the DVD. Just answer the question for a chance to win!
WHICH OF THESE IS A SUPERSTITION ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE BORN ON CHRISTMAS DAY?
A. They can't see ghosts
B. They can't smell cheese
Win code: 5510
Email: 5510@hhcomp.co.uk
Competition closing date: 11:59pm on 9 January 2013
COMPETITION RULES: You must make sure that we have your entries by 11.59pm, 9 January 2013.
1. You can enter if you live in England, Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland or the Channel Islands, but not if someone who lives in your house works for the Immediate Media Company. 2. By entering the competition, you accept that Immediate Media Company London Limited, as the publishers of Horrible Histories magazine, is the promoter of this competition and promise to us that you have read these rules and that you will follow them. 3. We can't include entries which arrive too late and we can't accept responsibility if your entry is lost, delayed, ineligible or fraudulent. 4. We will choose the winners at random from all of the right answers that we receive. 5. One entry per household. We don't allow bulk entries or entries made by other people on your behalf. We will disqualify all entries which break this rule. 6. If you win, you will receive the prize described. We won't swap the prize for cash. If there's ever a reason why we can't give you exactly the same prize, we'll give you something just as good or better instead. 7. Winners will be contacted within 28 days of a competition closing date, either by post, telephone or email. 8. If we contact you to tell you you're a winner, but you don't reply within a month, we may have to offer the prize to a runner-up or give it away in a future competition. Your details: We will use your name, address and any other details that you give us to run this competition. If you win, we will pass them to the person who's providing the prize so that they can post it to you, and we may use your first name and county in the magazine or on our website but we won't provide them to anyone else without your permission. You can find out the winner's first name and county once the competition is over by sending a stamped addressed envelope to Competition Rules, ATTN: Marketing Assistant, Horrible Histories magazine, Immediate Media Company London Limited, Vineyard House, 44 Brook Green, London W6 7BT. Remember to tell us which magazine, issue number and competition you'd like to know about.
THINK YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS WERE BAD? HAVE A LOOK AT SOME OF THE MOST REPULSIVE GIFTS EVER GIVEN...
1 Incan boys would be given a llama as a present - with the animal then given to the Sun god as a sacrifice. They probably just thought it was a pretty lame present.
2 The Roman Emperor Nero divorced his wife Octavia, then had her head presented on a platter to his new wife Poppaea. She knew how to get 'ahead in Rome!
3 Saxons would give each other gifts of poo! Pig poo was used to build houses and plates were made from horse poo. We wouldn't fancy having tea at their house...
4 Mary Queen of Scots gave a watch shaped like a human skull to her attendant Mary Seton, shortly before her head was chopped off.
5 According to legend, Atilla the Hun's wife killed his sons and served their hearts to him for dinner.
6 When Queen Victoria died her hair was cut off, put into lockets and given to her friends and family. What a hair-raising bunch the Victorians were!
7 Ancient Greeks would sacrifice animals as gifts to the gods, but would then roast and eat them themselves. It was a huge honour to eat some of the roasted heart, lungs, liver or kidneys of the animal.
Carol singers were banned from churches by medieval priests. That's where the tradition of singing door to door comes from. To 'Carol meant to sing and dance in a circle!
Lots of Christmas carols are complete lies! 'Good King Wenceslas wasn't a king, he was a duke, and he never collected firewood.
'Jingle Bells was originally written as a song for the American holiday of Thanksgiving, not for Christmas.
GRISLY GIFTS - SMASHING STOCKING FILLERS!
WANT TO HAVE A HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS? MAKE SURE ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE IN YOUR LETTER TO SANTA!
HORRIBLE HISTORIES
TOP TRUMPS
Play with the most dastardly, deadly and despicable figures in history! Who is the most horrible of them all?
Price: 4 pounds, 99
www.toptrumps.com
BRAINBOX
HORRIBLE HISTORIES
VILE VILLAINS
Play against your friends to find out how vile history's greatest villains were!
Price: 9 pounds, 99
www.brainbox.co
HORRIBLE HISTORIES: COMPLETE SERIES 1-3 DVD
Price: 14 pounds, 99
www.bbcshop.com
HORRIBLE HISTORIES ANNUAL
Packed with foul facts - a must-have for history fans!
Price: 7 pounds, 99
www.scholastic.co.uk
HORRIBLE HISTORIES: THE ROTTEN ROMANS BOARD GAME
Be a gladiator and escape the Coliseum in this barbaric board game!
Price: 22 pounds, 99
www.greenboardgames.com
WIN
ONE LUCKY WINNER GETS EVERYTHING ON THIS PAGE!
How does Santa usually enter houses?
A. Through the chimney
B. By kicking down the front door
ENTER BY EMAIL: Email your answer, name, address and telephone number to 5548@hhcomp.co.uk
ENTER BY TEXT: Text COMP HH + win code + either A or B (without any spaces) and your name and full address to 66644. For example, text COMP HH5343A John Smith, 25 The Avenue, London, NW12 6XP. Entry cost will be however much your mobile phone company charges for one normal text message (SMS) at the time you enter.
Competition Closing Date: 11:59pm on 9 January 2013
RATTUS RECKONS - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!
1 If you find a button in your Christmas pudding it means you won't get married.
2 Victorian Christmas cards sometimes had things like bacon, teeth and dead mice attached to them.
3 The biggest ever Christmas present was given to the French by the Americans. It's the Statue of Liberty, and it is 152 feet tall!
EXTRA FACTS:
1. If you find a tiny wishbone it means you will have good luck, if you find a thimble it means you will be good at saving money. It also means that your mum hasn’t been paying attention while cooking!
2. They had weird drawings too, like a giant wasp attacking children or a clown sneaking up on a policeman!
3. The statue was a gift from the French to America to celebrate its independence from the English. The English didn’t give them anything!
GRUESOME GAME - CHRISTMAS BORED GAME
1 WHO WAS SCROOGE'S FIRST GHOSTLY VISITOR?
a) Jacob Marley
b) The Ghost of Christmas Past
2 WHAT DO SNOWMEN EAT?
3 WHAT DO DUTCH CHILDREN HANG UP FOR PRESENTS?
a) Stockings
b) Shoes
4 SANTA HAS A REINDEER CALLED...
a) Rooney
b) Rudolph
5 WHY IS A TURKEY NEVER HUNGRY AT CHRISTMAS?
6 IF YOU GO SURFING AT CHRISTMAS, YOU PROBABLY LIVE IN...
a) Austria
b) Australia
7 WHICH OF THESE WAS ONE OF THE WISE MEN CALLED?
a) Caspar
b) Gasper
8 TINSEL IS PUT ON CHRISTMAS TREES BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE COBWEBS?
a) True
b) False
9 IN THE CAROL, HOW MANY DAYS OF CHRISTMAS ARE THERE?
a) 12
b) 112
10 IF YOU VISIT SANTA, YOU PROBABLY GO TO HIS...
a) Garage
b) Grotto
11 WHERE IS THERE A BIG CHRISTMAS TREE IN LONDON EVERY YEAR?
a) Trafalgar Square
b) Picadilly Circus
12 WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU ARRIVE AT RUDOLPH'S HOUSE?
13 WHAT IS ST STEPHEN'S DAY ALSO KNOWN AS?
a) New Year's Day
b) Boxing Day
14 A PLAY AT CHRISTMAS IS CALLED A...
a) Pantomime
b) Pyjamamime
15 WHAT DOES THE QUEEN TRADITIONALLY DELIVER ON CHRISTMAS DAY?
a) Newspapers
b) Christmas speech
16 WHAT DO DUCKS DO BEFORE CHRISTMAS DINNER?
17 IN THE USA, HOW MANY TOWNS ARE CALLED SANTA CLAUS?
a) 0
b) 2
18 WHEN WERE THE FIRST CHRISTMAS CARDS PRINTED?
a) 1743
b) 1843
19 WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN AND A SHARK?
20 HOW MANY WHITE CHRISTMASES WERE THERE IN LONDON IN THE 20TH CENTURY?
a) 14
b) 2
LOUSY LETTERS
NASTY NOTES
FRIGHTFUL FUN
DEADLY DRESS-UPS!
Take a look at what you horrible lot have been dressing up as...
Ben and Peter Adamson are nasty norman knights!
Joshua Ashley is a pirate!
Sam Bocking is a revolting peasant!
Rose Robertson is Boudica
Scott Robertson is Death
RATTUS REPLIES
We love to see your despicable dressing-up. Keep the photos coming!
SAVAGE SISTER!
Dear HH magazine, my sister 'Horrible Heidi always distracts me. If she was alive in the Tudor times she would have been missing her head by now!
OLIVIA, WESTON-SUPER-MARE
RATTUS REPLIES
I know sisters can be annoying, but it's nothing worth losing your head over!
ASK TERRY
Send your questions to Terry Deary, author of Horrible Histories. email or post to the address below and Terry could answer them!
GORE BLIMEY!
I really like your magazine. I like all the gore and stuff, especially the romans and the First and Second World Wars. It's the best part of my month to read your mag!
ALLISON MCFARLANE,
HORRIBL E LOOKALIKE
Ivan the Terrible - Strict russian ruler
Craig Revel Horwood - Strictly Come Dancing judge
SENT IN BY DAVID FROM BRISTOL
HELP US MAKE YOUR MEASLEY MAGAZINE!
Have you got an opinion on Horrible Histories magazine? Then we'd like to hear from you! go to www.immediateinsiders.com and follow the instructions to join - you'll need your parents email address. If you join before 13 January, you'll be entered into a special prize draw and ten readers will win a Horrible Histories goody bag!
WIN!
Every fan on this page wins a 20 pounds WHSmith voucher to spend on Horrible Histories cards. See www.ukgreetings.co.uk for more Horrible Histories cards.
WE WANT YOUR SAVAGE STUFF!
shout@hhmag.co.uK
HORRIBLE HISTORIES, VINEYARD HOUSE, 44 BROOK GREEN, LONDON W6 7BT
TRUE OR FALSE? SANTA SPECIAL!
1 In holland and Belgium Santa Claus has a friend called Black Peter, who brings coal (and sometimes knocks on the head) to naughty children.
2 Coca-Cola was the first company to use Santa in its advertising.
3 Letters that are addressed to Santa get delivered to the North Pole.
MEAN MONARCHS
A: Tried to kill all the baby boys in Bethlehem after Jesus was born.
B: Banned all sports on Christmas day. Archery was later allowed in case the French invaded!
C: Crowned at Christmas. There was so much noise, guards thought there was a revolt and burned local houses!
HENRY VIII
WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR
KING HEROD
CRAZY CHRISTMAS AROUND THE WORLD!
TICK THE COUNTRY THAT THESE SUPERSTITIONS BELONG TO.
Christmas food includes the heart of a bull, steeped in spices and wine-vinegar then roasted over an open fire
ITALY
PERU
It's good luck to find a spider web on Christmas morning
UKRAINE
SPAIN
Mischievous goblins come into people's homes and break things during the 12 days of Christmas
IRELAND
GREECE
WHO AM I?
My wife brought the first Christmas trees to England.
I was the grandfather of Queen Victoria.
I went mad towards the end of my reign and tried to plant trees that grew meat!
Am I?
A) GEORGE BEST
B) GEORGE III
C) GEORGE MICHAEL
WHICH OF THESE IS ONE OF SANTA'S REINDEER?
COMET
CURRYS
DIXONS
CHRISTMAS BORED GAME - ANSWERS
1. A
2. Icebergers!
3. B
4. B
5. The turkey is always stuffed!
6. B
7. A
8. A
9. A
10. B
11. A
12. Ring the deer-bell!
13. B
14. A
15. B
16. Pull a Christmas quacker!;
17. B;
18. B;
19. Frost bite!;
20. B.
TRUE OR FALSE
1. True
2. False - White Rock Beverages used him to sell mineral water in 1915
3. True
MEAN MONARCHS:
A. King Herod B. Henry VIII C. William the Conqueror
CRAZy CHRISTMAS AROUND THE WORLD:
1. Peru
2. Ukraine
3. Greece
WHO AM I?
George III
SANTA'S REINDEER
Comet
WRITE TO: Horrible Histories magazine, Vineyard House, 44 Brook Green, London W6 7BT
TEL: 020 7150 5688
EMAIL: shout@hhmag.co.uk
HORRIBLE HISTORIES MAGAZINE is published every four weeks by Immediate Media Company London Limited under licence from Scholastic Limited. Reprographics by Immediate Media Company London Limited. Printed by BGP Bicester. Horrible Histories magazine is Copyright Immediate Media Company London Limited. Horrible Histories is a registered trademark of Scholastic Inc. Based on the original text by Terry Deary and illustrations by Martin Brown. Illustration Copyright Martin Brown 2012. Immediate Media Company London Limited is working to ensure that all of its paper is sourced from well-managed forests. This magazine can be recycled, for use in newspapers and packaging. Please remove any gifts, samples or wrapping and dispose of it at your local collection point.